


The Sickness

by kaluha (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Sadstuck, hospital au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-17
Updated: 2012-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-10 04:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/462441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kaluha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Staring Nicholas Cage, John Cusack and maybe Penelope Cruz - John hasn't quite worked out all the details yet.<br/>He's too busy dying, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The boy in the bed

**Author's Note:**

> laughs because this is a really over used idea go me  
> might update slowly  
> really short first chapter as always

I took the feeble, tremouring hands, curling my own stronger ones around them carefully, incasing them in a cage of calloused fingers. Eyes traced long white limbs and like following a river towards the horizon, I found myself engulfed in the crushing depth of the sky – an intangible blue that twisted and changed every time you dared another look heavenwards. My breath caught and with a withered voice my mind admitted what my heart could not; John was dying, and there was nothing I could do to help.

  
I heard the sickness came on slowly, a storm of different infections and diseases that spread through his body one by one. No one knew how it was possible for so much sickness to fester together, let alone in one body, but it was soon apparent that curing John would take more than an armful of doctors. The boy needed a miracle. The problem lay in the medication – pills administered for one problem irritated or worsened another and on and on the cycle went until finally the doctors were forced to admit that no cocktail of drugs was going to save him. John was the incurable boy.  
I had met john a long time ago, a friend of a friend. He was bubbly, cheeky and sometimes a bit obnoxious and bossy. Even so, John was a genuine kid. He said what he meant, and he always put his best foot forward. When I heard of his condition worsening, I felt obliged to visit him. His room was only down the hall from mine.

The first few times I paid the boy a visit, he was either heavily sedated or fast asleep. On these occasions, I just stood by his side watching – our first few encounters made in silence. It was on the fifth visit that this changed. I sat in the visitor’s chair, watching the monitor rhythmically jump to the beat of John’s heart. It had been this way for over an hour, but I didn’t feel the need to leave. His soft breathing was therapeutic and comforting, a stark change to this aching silence of my own empty room. It smelt nice in here; less clinical and fresher – It was the scent of the flowers that overflowed from his bedside table. It smelt like the outside world, a smell I’d almost forgotten. It smelt like the breeze and made my mouth water for something I couldn’t put my finger on.  
The shifting of fabric caught my attention and my eyes flicked to the bed, only to find two huge blue eyes staring back.

“John!” I started, my hand leaping to my throat.  
He blinked slowly, as if struggling to process what he was seeing before reaching out carefully to take his glasses from the bench. Frowning, he opened his mouth only to find his words escape him. Scowling now, he gave a great cough, clearing whatever had been blocking his throat and moving his eyes back to mine.  
“What are you doing here?” He asked in a gravelly voice. Attention fixed on me, he attempted to pull himself up into a seated position. Instinctly, I stood up to help but was countered by a soft smirk and a raised brow. “Come on, I’m not a baby.” He insisted. I let my outstretched hands fall to my side and watched hi struggle through blankets and pillows until finally he was resting, panting, in a comfortable layout. I smiled and sat back down. “Guess you’re not.”  
He chuckled, turning his head to lie facing me.  
“So what _are_ you doing here? No offence, but I barely know you.” He laughed bashfully, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.  
“I’m just down the hall, I thought I’d come by.” I shrugged nonchalantly.  
For the first time John seemed to register the hospital exclusive gown and slippers I sported, his head bobbing and his lips moving to form a silent ‘o’. “Right, that’s right, yeah – Karkat told me you were in here, didn’t he? But that was ages ago! What are you still doing here?”  
“It was a serious accident John, I’m not just gonna walk out of here that easily. It’s a miracle I can even walk as is.”  
“Oh, right. Sorry.”  
Another bashful giggle.  
I smiled, pulling the chair closer.  
“Heard what you’re in here for too, sounds pretty terrible.” I said, leaning my chin on my hands.  
“Yeah, I mean who even catches that many diseases at once? It’s crazy! They should make a movie out of me; The Sickness, starring Nicholas Cage and John Cusack! Dunno who’d play you though, they’d have to be really pretty.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I blushed despite myself.  
“What about Penelope Cruz?” I suggested.  
John looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head.  
“Nah, she’s sexy but she’s not cute like you. Man, this is serious, we gotta get your actress sorted before the big premier!”  
“Maybe I can play myself, I do my own stunts you know.”  
“I know you do, that’s why you’re stuck in here with me talking about Penelope Cruz.”  
I started laughing, and John’s whimsical giggles joined in quickly.

Soon after we’d gotten our laughter down to feeble giggles, a nurse popped her head in, looking John over with obvious concern.  
“Mr Egbert, your father is here.” She informed him carefully, as if the wrong words would cause the boy to shatter into tiny glass shards.  
John grinned and popped up like a jack in the box. “Awesome! Let him in!”  
The nurse smiled, her eyes flickering over to where I sat before leaving to fetch his Father.  
“I should go too.” I said, standing up. John grinned and settled back down into his pillows.  
“Alright, but hey – come back soon! It’s boring as hell sitting around in here.”  
I rolled my eyes.  
“Like I don’t know that.”  
We laughed one last time before I excused myself and retired to the loneliness of my own room.


	2. Ghost Busters

As it turned out, John was a lot more than just nice. He was lame too, always playing some prank on me that expired in the early fifties. I can’t even remember when joy buzzers were invented, but the tingling that still crawled through my hand made me wish they hadn’t been. On Monday there was a bucket of water waiting for me when I entered his deflowered room. I’m not sure how he did it himself – his dad probably helped him set it up. I pay him back of course, with a tickle attack or a pillow bashing or maybe even a splash of water myself. It doesn’t do anything to stop him cackling though. One time, he laughed so hard he pulled the drip from his arm and when the nurse came in to patch it back up he was giggling so much she got worried and called the Doctor in, thinking he’d had some kind of strange reaction to the morphine again. Every time I bring that up he bursts into fresh laughter and the nurse returns, skittish and worried.

I enjoy John’s company, but I can’t always have him. His friend’s come and visit and, not meaning to be intrusive, I leave the four of them alone. I like Jade the most, when she visits I sit outside and listen to them chatter. Even though they’re twins, they’re still more than just identical. It’s like they both have the same bit of each other in them – the same laugh, the same bad eyesight and the same lame jokes. She has hair as dark as mine, but hers is straight where mine is curly. Sometimes I think I’m brave enough to introduce myself to her, but when I look into the room and see the intimacy of siblings, I lose my nerve and retire to eavesdropping once more. The other two are beautiful, don’t get me wrong, they just gave me a vibe i didn’t quite comprehend. Rose spoke with snarky dignity, the same snark that grew two fold when she started drinking – if I remember Karkat’s party correctly. After an hour, it was time for them to leave. Jade and Dave walked past first, the blonde boy faking a faint at Jade’s overly falsified flirtation. Rose trailed after them, walking slowly. Her purple eyes flickered to me, back to the ground, and with a start back to me. For a handful of seconds she stared at me like a deer caught in headlights. Confused, I raise an eyebrow. “Hey,” I offered, but the girl had turned on her heels and scurried on after her friends. I frowned and re-entered the room.

“Man, you don’t have to wait out there for me. There’s still gonna be some John left over for you when the other kids have had their go.”  
“I dunno Rose doesn’t seem too fond of me.”  
John frowned, chewing his lip with his overgrown teeth.  
“That’s weird, she’s usually pretty cool with everyone.”  
“I don’t think running away from me is considered cool.”  
“Maybe she saw your hair and mistook you for a sheep.” John snickered, pulling at one of my curls.  
“I’m not a sheep.”  
“I dunno I could make a jumper out of your hair.”  
“I’d make a lamp out of your face!”  
“Don’t take it to heart, man.” John reproached, holding his hand out.  
Pursing my lip, I took it.  
“I won’t.”  
“Good, because I want you to enjoy the movie marathon I’ve got planned!”  
“Movie Marathon? What kind of movies?”  
“The Ghost Buster kind.”  
I rolled my eyes and punched his arm.  
“You’re a dum-dum.”  
“You steal Karkat’s insults.”  
I pocked my tongue out and he grabbed it, starting up again another round of hysterical laughter.  
This time the drip stayed in.

The next day I went to visit, his room was closed with a no visitors sign out front.

It was a week before the sign was removed.  
When I entered the room, the first thing I noticed was the yellow pallour of John’s skin and the nose piece taped to his face.  
He smiled weakly up at me.  
“Hey, you look stupid.” I said, taking my usual seat.  
John chuckled, his eyes making a lethargic move that was probably meant to be a roll.  
“You’re telling me.” He coughed softly.  
His voice was back to that gravely texture it had been the first time we’d spoken, his eyes back to looking around unfocused, groping to make things out. The problem was, this time he was wearing his glasses.  
“You know what’s weird?” He said, “Everything is blurry, but you’re really clear.”  
I smiled and stroked back his mop of dark, sweaty hair. “It’s probably because you’ve got me memorised.”  
“I guess so.”  
John went quiet, breathing raggedly between smiling lips.  
“Hey can, you get me some water?”  
“Of course.”  
I left before he could see the tears.

 

Coming back from the water fountain, I heard the ragged, loud, angry voice that could only belong to one person. For some reason, my heart stopped and I panicked. Ducking behind the door frame, I listened carefully to the raging storm that was Karkat Vantas.  
“What do you _mean_ you had a Ghost Buster’s marathon? Of course you’re worse off, you stupid shit! You’ve probably got eye cancer now – god you are SUCH AN IDIOT EGBERT!”  
“Calm down Karkat, the Nurses’ll get worried.”  
“OH SO YOU CARE IF THE NURSES ARE WORRIED BUT NOT ME? You think I can fucking SLEEP AT NIGHT knowing you’re lying here looking like a cyborg with all these FUCKING BEEPING MACHINES?! GOD JOHN I am so SICK OF YOUR SHIT. No! No, shut your gaping trap you insufferable prick before I force those goddamn flowers so far up your asshole people will look in your eyes AND SEE FUCKING SPRING. You will BREATH THE SCENT OF DANDELIONS EGBERT. SO JUST SHUT UP.”  
There was silence, then a deep breath.  
“John, we put you in here to get better not to fucking die.”  
“Jethuth KK, I’ve hear of being tactical but you jutht fucking defined it for me, thankth.”  
I gagged at the voice, dropping the cup of water instantaneously as the familiar sound rattled through my head.  
“I didn’t say he was _going_ to die – oh jesus don’t get all watery on me.”  
“Way to go athhole!”  
“Shut your lisping trap, Sollux!”  
“Dudes, I’m not crying I’m ok, can you two just calm down? I said I’m fine!”  
“No, John, if you were ok you’d be at home! But you’re not, your stupid ass is in here dying!”  
“KK calm the fuck down your thcreamingth the probably the main reathon he ended up in here.”  
“Guys seriously shut up I’m fine! I’ve had fun in here, seriously!”  
“How the hell are you having fun in a hospital, when you can’t even get out of bed?”  
“I get visitors, duh. Me and Penelope Cruz’ve been having a great time together.”  
I could hear the smile in his voice, and it quickly spread to my own lips.  
“Egbert what kind of _fucked up_ drugs are they giving your dumb ass?”  
“None Karkat, it was a joke! Of course she’s not really Penelope Cruz, I’m sick but I’m not fucking crazy man.”  
“Then who is she really, Xena the warrior printheth?”  
“Oh my god Sollux that’s not even a funny reference! I’m talking about Aradia, duh!!”  
The room went silent.  
“That reminds me, why don’t you guys visit her anymore?”

With a violent screech of metal on lino, Sollux shot out of the room – screeching insults and flailing bony limbs like a dying pray mantis. Confused staff looked between themselves, the shock almost tangible. Guilt fell on me, water springing to my eyes. I took a step forward to follow after him, but a sudden pang in my stomach forced me to stop. My hands flew to my abdomen while my eyes followed after Sollux’s fading back. Something wet tickled my hands.  
I looked down.  
  
I was laying, broken and alone, suddenly alone once more at the bottom of the cliff, digging tools strewn around me like broken toys – myself an unmoving ragdoll. Blood flowed cleanly from my wounds, the rubble cutting off the rest of my writhing body from view. It was like everything past my stomach had ceased to exist. My head was throbbing; my vision attacked by bright sparks of colours and light. Concussed and disoriented, I fought to breathe.  
Had the wound reopened?  
Panic gripped me, and I was back in the white halls of the hospital as quickly as I had left.  
With an ear piercing scream, I blacked out.

Apparently my scream had the wrong effect on John. When he heard me and the thud of my falling shortly after, he began to panic and yell for help – to the point Karkat’s shouted advice fell flat on his ears. The nurses came and held him down, but he struggled so forcibly against their grasping hands that they were forced to knock him out with some pretty heavy drugs. His struggling had managed to work his body into a fever.  
John’s health took a dive off the deep end.  
Everyone prepared for the worse.

When I came to, I had been patched up. I’m not sure just what caused to wound to rupture once more, but it was clear that with this many bandages I wouldn’t be falling apart again anytime soon. It was hard to move at first and every twist brought a shock of pain through my body. I was sore all over, but I was alive. That’s what Mattered.  
Once certain I could stand without fainting, I took my drip for a walk to John’s room.


	3. Confrontation

I didn’t make it there. Half way down the hall, I was stopped suddenly by a figure, all six feet of the gorgeous blonde that could only belong to a Lalonde.   
“Rose!” I exclaimed, butterflies erupting in my stomach. Her lips twitched and she nodded curtle, her purple gaze fluttering carefully over me in assessment. In a quiet voice, she began to whisper.   
“Aradia, will you join me outside for a moment? She looked up into my eyes through her heavy lashes. I nodded, a bit taken back by her secrecy, but her eyes dared me to refuse her. A form of fear bristled inside me at the thought of saying no. Silently, we made our way to the privacy of the inner courtyard.  
It was completely empty upon arrival.  
We sat down together on a bench to the farside, in the shadow of a huge tree – as if it’s branches would form an extra veil of protection from wandering eyes.  
“I must apologise for my behaviour last time we met, I’m not sure what came over me.” Her black glossed lips curled into a smile. I perked up.  
“Oh, it’s fine Rose! I don’t hold it to you, I guess I was a bit shocked is all.” I laughed Nervously. “John said you mistook me for a sheep.”  
“Did he now.” She said sagely.  
There was a moment of silence. Slowly, Rose reached towards me. “May I?” She added quickly. I nodded, not fully understanding her intention. Her thin hand reached out and took a handful of my thick curls, letting them fall through her fingers as her thumb stroked small circles, like my hair was made of stands of gold. Surprise lit her face, as well as something else, something that brought water to her eyes.  
“You’re crying,” I whispered, hoping not to alarm. Rose’s spare hand flew to her face and she flicked away the stray tear as if it had never existed. Her face remained still.   
“Aradia, you do understand John’s situation, do you not?”  
“I know he’s sick.”  
“I think you’ll find he’s a bit more than that.”  
She paused, visibly searching for words.  
“Aradia,” Rose took my hand in hers, “May I confine in you?”  
“Of course, Rose, what is it?”  
Tears began to roll freely down her serene face.  
“John’s not going to make it. He won’t last the week, I’m certain. “She paused again. “What do I do?” Her question came out weak, but earnest. She honestly wanted me to answer her.   
“Aradia, what do I do?” She repeated blankly.  
I felt my heart slowly break to pieces.  
“I don’t know,” Was all I could bring myself to say  


I took the feeble, tremouring hands, curling my own stronger ones around them carefully, incasing them in a cage of calloused fingers. Eyes traced long white limbs and like following a river towards the horizon, I found myself engulfed in the crushing depth of the sky – an intangible blue that twisted and changed every time you dared another look heavenwards. My breath caught and with a withered voice my mind admitted what my heart could not; John was dying, and there was nothing I could do to help.

His face held a strange expression, his eyes looking over me longingly, as if searching for something he knew should be there but his eyes just refused to see it. His brow furrowed and angry tears sprung to his eyes.  
“It’s not true, is it?” He asked.  
I blinked slowly.  
“What?”  
“What Karkat told me, It isn’t true, is it?”  
My mind flickered back to the fight the other day, Karkat’s words jumping at me, angry and red.   
“Oh John, of course not you’re not going to die, don’t think—“  
“that’s not what I meant.” His stone was harsh, something I’d never heard before. An undertone of betrayal coated his words. I looked into those sky eyes in confusion. He cleared his dry throat and continued.  
“Is it true you’re dead?”  
A shocked laugh caught in my throat.  
‘What the hell are you talking about?”  
“Is. It. True.” He insisted, eyes burning holes through me. I was stunned.  
“Do I look dead? Where the hell did this come from?”  
“Karkat said that’s why Sollux left. That’s why they don’t visit you anymore. There’s no one to visit. There’s a Mrs J Harrison in your room. She’s been there for five months now with stomach cancer. Aradia, they didn’t save you.”  
A strange feeling washed over me. I felt angered, offended even. Who was this boy to question if I was _alive or not_?  
“John, if I’m dead how come I can touch things? Feel things? Explain that, John! How does that work into this _ridiculous_ theory?” My tone was confrontational, my face taken over by an angry blush of indignity.  
“You remember how things feel.” He shrugged, more of a suggestion than a statement.  
“That’s utter cow shit, john.”  
“You ever been kissed?” He asked suddenly. I blinked at him like he’d grown two heads.  
“Where the hell is this coming from now?”  
“Just answer me.”  
I felt myself blush and a murmured a quiet ‘no’.  Looking me dead in the eyes, he said the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard leave his lips.  
“Then kiss me.”  
“Excuse you?!” I practically screeched, jumping to my feet. He looked me straight in the eye, completely serious.   
“Kiss me and tell me if you feel anything.”  
“Like hell I’m gonna—“  
“What, scared I’m right?”

  
Furious with embarrassment and contempt I stood there for a moment, stewing in my own angry fumes. He continued to look at me with stern patience and it drove me _mad_. Finally, too stubborn to admit defeat, and unknowingly trying to rid the cernel of doubt that had been planted in my head, I leaned carefully over the sick boy, and as gentle as I could with all my anger, placed my lips against his fevered ones.   
Nothing.  
I felt nothing.   
I pulled back, confused, then planted another one on the boy, my hand holding my veil of thick hair away from my face.  
Again, nothing.  
There was nothing.  
No feeling, not touch, no anything – just emptiness.  
I had never been kissed, so how was I supposed to know how to feel?  
With a fit of violent sobs I realised John was right.

I was on the edge of a cliff, digging in the dust and dirt – the sun burning quietly at the edge of the horizon. I was digging up artefact, old Native American items. I was so close to the edge, I could see the bottom of the cliff from my peripheral vision. The earth here was loose, but I wasn’t afraid. The tremouring of the earth below me only added to my adrenaline rush.   
“Heeeeeeeey, Megido.”  
My eyes snapped up. Vriska stood before me, as if an apparition – my gut twisted with fear. What was she doing here?  
The woman dawdled over to a shovel, kicking the tool up and into her hands with a smug smile. “Heard you were digging old shit up again.”  
“What do you want, Serket?” I scowled. This girl was dangerous. She was daring, murderous and well connected. Only months before she had been on the verge of serving time for pushing your friend into a wheelchair – but like the spider bitch she was, she’d pulled her dirty strings and got herself acquitted. It didn’t change the fact the rest of us knew the truth.  
Vriska continued to smile, leaning idly on her shovel.  
“Just come to visit. Oh, right! You would never guess what I found out today!”  
I refused to reply. She smirked and continued.  
“Got one of my agent friends onto some rather incriminating letters that’ve been going around, they had some pretty hardcore blackmail on my ass.”  
I froze. Those were my letters.  
“And all that DNA pointed to you, honey.” She grinned, ferocious and wild. She brought the shovel up.  
“Now what,” the shovel fell to the earth with a heavy crunch, “would you,” _crunch_ , “be doing,” _crunch_ , “spreading such,” _CRUNCH_ , “rumours, hmm?”   
The earth under the shovel dints was weak, a small crack beginning to form through the dirt.  
“Vriska, please I didn’t—“  
Another fell and the crack split the earth with a deafing crack. Fear lumped in my throat, my eyes flying to Vriska’s rimmed ones.  
“ _Arrivederci_ **,** _Megido_.” She hissed, unleashing the finishing blow that sent me, my tools and a tonne of angry boulders flying towards the earth bellow. ~~  
  
~~

“John,” I whimpered, shaking all over. The boy’s eyes filled with sadness, his mouth struggling to maintain a smile.   
“I’m sorry, Aradia. I’m so sorry.”


End file.
